klutz.

what am i doing?

where do i go next?

these few weeks have been one helleva roller coaster emotionally. i'm like friggin PMS-ing everyday of the month la. am i goin crazy??? shits.

was reading one of my friend's blog, let's just call her Ms B. met up w her and smelly melly and another guy from high sch the other day. by right, we should have been close, well closer anyways, considering the fact that i've known her for like what 10 years, but things happen, teens will always be teens. i guess it's one regret i'll always have.

anways, she looks much thinner than before, and trust me she was thin already. but still her energy level was sky high, smiled alot, talked crap with us, as if everything was normal. i feel so ashamed just thinking about it, how hard her life must have been, how strong she has to be. and i was never there for her, never overcame my fear of how she might react to me, never summoned enough courage to admit that i still care for her.

she is the epitome of inner strength. after all that she's been through: 2 jobs, staying on her own, family to look after, one bad relationship after another, she's still trodding on with life. and she doesnt grumble or say anything about it.

what are we? talking about jadedness and love lost. i'm such a spoilt child. a selfish, proud, cowardly spoilt child. i really hope that things will get better for her, for the people around her, and that love will finally find its way to her soon.

though i never said it, i admire and respect you alot, even if we're not close friends, i still hope to be there for you one day..