motivate.

lazy, bored and restless.. yawns.

my darlings are all so busy now! work, sch, internships blah blah blah. yet, i am relatively happy because for once, there's not much shit happening. somehow i get the feeling i'm an old woman trapped in a young person's body.

was talking to e bf the other day about partying. i see pictures of people drinking and dancing the night away, and i dont crave for that anymore. maybe not so much for dancing, drinking.. oh well, i'm getting there. i remember the last time we went to par-teh, it was kinda boring. we'd much rather sit down and talk.

dammit. i cant be getting old! i'm just reaching my prime!

yet, i cant get the thought of life being more than just merry-making out of my head. it seems so shallow and transcient.

anyways, we've been thinking of saving up for a really nice trip. it'll be kinda like a graduation trip, but it's not gonna happen until he actually graduates, which would be 2 years later. sighs. hopefully we'll save enough for all the things we wanna do and places we wanna see.

europe, here we come baby.

so the plan is 2 weeks in europe, which i think is too damn bloody short. have an aunt staying in england, so we'll probably pop by for a while as well (free lodging!!! yay!), then make our way to the other places. details will have to be straightened out later, anyway it's like still super duper long way to go.

when i say there are many places we wanna visit, i am not kidding. but here's our shortlisted places after much discussion and compromise (grumbles):

1. England

surrey: where e aunt lives

- london

pretty london.

i love harrods.

- stratford

might not seem like much, but it's shakepeare's birthplace - a definite must go.

- old trafford

manchester united rocks my socks!

- stanley park

apparently liverpool rocks his. traitor.

2. France

- paris

eiffel tower. beautiful. i have to go up this time!

moulin rouge! c'mon, dont u wanna go??

3. Netherlands

- amsterdam

weed! nah i'm just kidding.

4. Italy

- Milan

fashion capital of the world?? i'm there.

gucci cafe.. hell yeah.

hmm. we still have to figure out the route, plan the itinerary, and get the budget. following which, we have to SAVE SAVE SAVE like crazy for the best trip of our lives. ahahahahahah. i can hardly breathe. i need to get a job asap, you need to make sure u graduate on time.

easy peasy.

hence, my nick. quit asking already.

job hunting is the bane of my existence.

i know i used to say that exams and assignments were the bane of my existence, but i dont have to deal with them ever again!

woo hoo. (unless of cos, i take my masters, but that is HIGHLY unlikely.)

anyways, back to job hunting.

even though i am super motivated to get a job that brings me closer to my goal, which i now realise takes abt 10 years of relevant work experience to achieve (mutha fukha!), i just dread the whole process of getting it: the searching, the self doubt, the waiting, the interview, the "needa shit" feeling on the first day of work, the crappy newb office attire that makes me look like fuck, etc etc.

dammit. i suck. i am such a wuss. ugh.

i shall focus on the perks of being gainfully employed in order to calm my nerves:

1. buy super alot of chio clothes, shoes and bags without feeling guilty cos i need them for work! (it's called investment morons.)
2. feel like im contributing to society (running for Ms Universe here... world peace!)
3. able to have engaging conversations with intellectual beings instead of crazy kids who cant understand me.
4. able to talk louder at home and throw my weight around... oh wait, i already do that.
5. get my driver's licence, and hopefully a car!
6. travel travel travel!
7. get myself a nice place to stay... alone!
8. seek my ever elusive happiness! (hmmm. i dont really see how being employed would help, but yeah.)
9. buy nice things for all the people i love. (y'all better be nice to me from now on, if u know wat's good for u!)
10. help africa. i think africans are cursed for just being born there. dont know how they survive.

ooh. and i wanna retire early and be a rockstar! ok, i'm officially off my rockers.

anyways, havent sent out any resumes cos he wants to go through the jobs im applying for.

how very bossy! hmm.

alrightey, meeting some of my fav people tml, let's just hope and pray fervently that i wont be force-fed chicken wings again.

amen.

3mm

we've made it.

until our next mm... i'll be stupid for u.

you're e first thing i think of when i wake..

..and the last thing on my mind when i sleep.

sweet kisses on my shoulder..

feather light touches down my back..








i think i'm falling in love.

Lofty dreams

paradise in 2 years..




i am cleansed.

all's well that ends well.. for now.

feeling much better now, but still sheepish.

met him for a chat just now. was thinking bout whether or not to tell him. but, as expected, i did.

note to self: i must control my honesty or rather, verbal diarrhea.

it was good to lay things out on the table and clear my mind.

i wanted to stop blogging bout e bf after today. i have my reasons. (it involves my blog and trauma for potential future gfs. go figure.) anyways, after much discussion, the verdict is out and nope, i wont stop blogging bout him. no regrets. confirm.

my answer to your question :

i wanted to know how i felt when i saw u again, after everything.. and i must say it felt pretty good.



now i can concentrate on my assignment and oncoming exam.

damn, im so far behind schedule.

on another note, i'm happy to know that even though we are currently few thousand miles apart, it feels like we've never parted.

talking to you still cheers me up, and it's still explicitly entertaining and fun.



i miss u daryl lee, get ur ass back here at once! (if not, get me over to party too!)

sighs.

flinch at my stupidity.

no more gushing.

no flowers, no bears and definitely no sashimi pls.

ah fuck it.

i'm going for a run.

heart don't fail me now.

i was bored, so i took a break.

i googled and found something.

should i or shouldn't i?

i really wanna know more.

jo says that curiosity killed the cat.

i'm talking lightly, but truth be told, i'm terrified.

now i've seen some, i need to see more.

this is scaring me.

should i or shouldn't i?

my heart's pounding.

i need your support.

dont leave me now jo.

i will, and i'm gonna.

right cheek or left??

my brain juices have been squeezed and there is virtually nothing left in my head to be used as fuel to continue with my assignment.

yawns.

i'm so freaking tired. i did 16 pgs in like half a day. i think it's not bad, huh? ok, 4 more parts and i'll let myself sleep. after which i'll battle on tomorrow.

sobs.

ah... nothing cheers me up like e bf and blue slurpee-fied tongues. as calvin (as in from calvin and hobbes, not calvin klein) once said, "it's not summer if your tongue is not blue!" (or was it green???)

shrugs.

continue marching on soldier, tis the last march!

disintegration.

the frustration is eating me alive.

can u not understand me?

do u not have an inkling of what i'm going through?

of cos not, u dont listen.. and it's killing me.

i feel like screaming out to u but u wont care, u wont empathise.

will u?

this is so shallow, so superficial.

i wanna run away yet again.

musings.

the inevitable always happens..

always.

Lets101 Quizzes - blog quizzes

HA. HA. HA.

this is why i dont believe in horoscopes.. (no offence omq!) anyone who knows me should know that my memory is like a goldfish! 9 secs or sth. heh. anyways, i have one of the worst memories ever, i even forget what i wanna say in mid sentence. unless of cos u pissed me off.. that i will remember for life. (for eg, FAT BIATCH.)

i'm really bored. being stuck at home with 3 monsters is no joke. i feel my sanity slippin away.

hmm. i really should get started on my ad campaign assignment. sighs. it can wait til tomorrow i guess. bleagh.

oh i have to say that I LOVE DIRTY SEXY MONEY! omg. it's like so my type of show la! even seng said that. hahah. damn. i dont wanna turn into a bimbo but i love the glamour and scandals in that show man. i want the DVD!!!! i'm hoping i'd get it for my bday which is coming like really soon!!!!! usually i'd start singing "jingle bells" and santa claus songs in june and annoy everyone by saying that christmas is coming, but this year, im sooooo looking forward to my bday (dunno why, dont ask!) so i'm gonna tell everyone my bday's coming soon instead! wahahahah.

in case you dont know, it's 04 oct!!!

list of potential bday presents (hint hint!) :

- digi cam (sony, preferably red.)

- Grey's anatomy/Sex and e City/e OC/ Dirty Sexy Money DVDs (for all seasons!)

- vouchers, any kind that i will use! (eg. borders, isetan, taka, tangs, topshop etc etc. pls give generously. dont be a cheapo friend.)

- gucci tote bag ( e one i've been lusting after forever! it's normal gucci print beige leather with cream trimmings. priced at S$1390. feel free to ask if unsure!)

- U2 edition ipod (e black and red one. i know it's old. i like ok!)

- sponsor my new tattoo/piercings.

hmmm. i cant think of anything else that i really really want and is not totally unreasonable to ask for as a bday gift. like a car for example. nope, all my potential gifts are very very reasonable. right??? oh well, i will update the list as time goes by and things pop up in my mind.

only 4 months to save up people!

woots.

ps. sorry for being such a bitch last night. it was e PMS demon. i swear.

i. am. starving.

like really starving...

somebody help me. i've only had breakfast and now i have to wait an hour for the pizza to arrive. it's 7 pm. in order not to die of hunger, i've decided to blog to occupy myself and take my mind off the hunger pangs in my empty tummy.

*tummy growls*

and i have to say the bf is like damn cute la. who doesnt know pizza hut's delivery number??? like c'mon, it's EVERYWHERE. u know e little jingle??? "6-235-35-35 pizza hut delivery!" hahaha. cuckoo bird. he said "it's still the same number meh??" err. yaaaaaaaa. and he asks me if i want some porridge first.. err. nooooooooooooo. cos i want pizza or at least something unhealthy!!!! (ooh! i've just got biscuits served to me. he's such a darling.)

*whines*

only 3 minutes has passed, i still have like 57 more minutes to go. damn.

anyways, i know i said i'd post pics but i'm lazy OKAY? plus hungry and really grouchy so DONT BUG ME. pics next time.

was reading blogs and i realised i havent met alot of my friends recently. isnt technology supposed to bring us closer together, u know, break down barriers and shit. but i think it's actually doing the opposite. we talk online, read blogs to keep ourselves updated, and we dont meet up!!! wassup w that??? (okay, i think bf is hungry too cos he's acting weird. he just shouted "beat it!" along with the radio. gave me a shock. idiot.)

omq's bday is comin up and guess where she wants to go..... DRINKING. goodness. her liver's probably like black and shrivelled. ugh. hahah. and cos i alr swore (ok, promised, swear seems like such a strong word..) that i'm quitting alcohol (except beers and wines.. those arent really alcohol alcohol, u know what i mean???) so i told her that maybe we can meet for dinner before that and i wont go for the drinking session. think she's in shock cos i'm still waiting for her reply. hahah. that woman. she actually told me that alcohol is good for me. rightttttttt. tnx ah.

alright! 7.13pm... 48 mins to go! i'm hoping that wrapping myself up in the blanket will muffle the rumbling sounds in my stomache. god. i sound like thunder! hmmm. i conclude that bf is creepy. he's lying on the bed, playing with my hp (not V9!!!!!!!!!!! wails.) with his back facing me. i'm sitting at the computer table abt half a metre away. it is almost total darkness. i pop one of the biscuits in my mouth, quite discreetly i thought and i hear bf say "nice not?" with his back still facing me.

*jumps up and looks around*

this boy is freaky. hahahah.

phwoarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i'm really damn hungry la!!!! time check 7.22pm. not too bad. (bf just popped up behind, giving me yet another shock. tmd.)

*chants* hungry hungry hungry. food food food.

ok, i'm gonna torture my bf by whinning non stop.

oh wait. the food is here!!! 7.27pm. not too bad, efficient.. i like.

gonna pig out now.

ciao.

whoopeeeeeeeee!


latest update - 8.03pm : (bf says that i muz add this) i. am. so. full. i can hardly walk now.

har dee har.

memories are just that.. memories.

not tangible, not present, not potential future.

i deleted all my old mails cos they are no longer relevant to me.

finally got round to it. yay me.

-pats myself on e back-

focusing on the here and now is more important than anything else.

i wont take it for granted, i wont take you for granted.

i wont... promise.

anyways, the last week was well spent, no alcohol.

i'm serious, not kidding!

wahahaha.

ok let's see..

snow city, no alcohol..

cycling, no alcohol.

ice skating, nope, no alcohol.

even ktv, no alcohol!

i'm on a roll man.

sighs, it's june already. so fast.

soon the bf's gonna start working again, and i have to do my asignment and start studying for my final paper... which means that hopefully i'll graduate and get a job like really soon!

went shopping with my mom and sister the other day and i totally went crazy over shoes!!! i was like planning which shoes to go with which outfit for work. i was happily dreaming up killer office wear until my mom reminded me i havent got a job yet so i wont know what kinda of clothes and shoes and bags and accessories are acceptable.

right.

bring me crashing back down to earth, why dont you mom.

cant wait for my girly outing to mel's house, we're gonna pig out, watch movies and paint our nails. so happy.... but i hate potluck!

what's wrong with ordering take away???? did i mention i cant cook???

be prepared for the consequences my darlings.

alrightey, would love to put up pics of my totally squeaky clean week, but the bf has them so til next post then.

speaking of him.. i hope your cold goes away soon so we can go blading!!!!!!!

muaaaaaaack.










ps. beds are more delicate than we think. be gentle with them! *wink*